An Open Dialogue That Built A Good Relationship

I had my first bf when I was 14, I know it was too early. But those days were different I guess compared to these days generation. I knew my limits. Do I sound defensive? *wink*

At first, I was terrified of what my parents would say if they find out. They knew about him but never told them about everything. I kept all my love letters in the drawer where they had an access. Of course my mother found out after few days of keeping them in that drawer. She told my father who was currently on vacation at that time. My father started the conversation “one month na pala kayo ha?” I was scared of what he would say next… But it turned out like I was on a hot seat. They started teasing me about him. There was no preaching. It was kind of an open dialogue with my parents – for the first time about my love life.

I then thought of inviting him over to our house to meet my parents. He did. He was nervous. But that nervousness vanished when they welcomed him with their smiles. And at the same time advised “us” that they have nothing against our young relationship for as long as “we behave well”. That he can come home any day he wants.

That’s how I started building my open-relationship with my parents. They were lenient and considerate enough that I didn’t think of doing anything that would disappoint them.

I would always update them on what’s the latest with my relationship and yes that includes my first kiss, my first heartache etc… It was my mom who had witnessed and followed every chapter of my love life. Of course, I’m sure she had told my father about everything – that’s no doubt!

In every failed relationship that I had, my mom was always there to listen and comfort me with her words of advice. She has seen me cried over heartaches. A lot of times. Then she would finally let her instinct out towards the guy who broke my heart “I knew it would happen, I could make out, but I didn’t want to interfere”. And I think she uttered the same line every after break-up that I had. :p

I remember an incident when my ex-bf had an affair with my friend. I was already back home while they were still in Manila studying. That was the same time when I had to stop schooling. Upon knowing the real score, my mom saw me seating in one corner, and asked me “ano luluwas ka?” I wasn’t thinking of that at that moment. But she gave me an idea. I packed all the things that he gave me and found myself off to the bus terminal the next morning. Before I left the house, my mother asked me once again ” you sure you didn’t forget anything?” Hahahaha! That made me confident. I knew I was ready to confront them.

As of this day, I still keep an open-relationship with my parents. I tell them what are needed to be told. And seek for their fair advice when I know there’s no one else to turn to.

And I’m thinking of implementing the same to my daughter when that time comes.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Blogger since 2007 | Home-based Marketing Assistant | WAHM | Ex-OFW | Music enthusiast | Cactus and Succulent Hobbyist | A 41 y/o mom of two lovely girls sharing her adventures as she walks through motherhood and having to do most things on her own while her Indian national husband works miles away from home.

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7 Comments

  1. you are very lucky to have parents like yours and your little girl is lucky as well to have a mom who has good role models on parenting. πŸ™‚

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  2. That’s cool. I never had a that kind of relationship with my parents. I mean I talk to them about almost everything except when it comes to relationship. But I guess that’s because when I was still with them, I never really had a relationship so there was nothing to talk about. I had my first bf at the age of 25 and I was already in Manila working…pretty independent already. When I had my first heartache, I dealt with it alone too. I guess at the back of my head I was thinking, why bother them with something like that…I don’t want them to worry about me and they never really see me like that. To them I’m always the tough daughter.

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  3. Hi Mitch, this is my first time to visit your blog, nice site. And you write well. I remember when I was young, we were not allowed to have a boyfriend. I had my first when I was 23 yrs. old already. Late bloomer na. But I’m still thankful to my parents bec. I’m happy where I am now. And I think am doing the same to my kids. he he. Btw, care to exchange links?

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  4. @ Mommy Chi : I’m truly blessed… Thanks sis!

    @ Vernaloo : I just had to tell someone about my heartaches otherwise I’ll breakdown – and that someone happened to be my mom.

    But you’re right, when I was hurt, with her it’s tripled.

    @ Rowena : Thanks sis!

    I’m proud of myself as much as I am proud of my parents. Them being lenient had once buzzed an issue in the clan – that I may come home one day “pregnant”. We proved them wrong.

    @ Arlene : Really? Sige, I’ll wait for that!

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  5. It’s so nice to have an open line (I don’t mean money but that’s not so bad either..hehehe) to our parents. Sometimes kasi we fail to see things from a broader perspective. Eh sila they have both the experience and the knowledge to help us out. Ika nga, papunta pa lang tayo pabalik na sila πŸ™‚

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