At first, I was terrified of what my parents would say if they find out. They knew about him but never told them about everything. I kept all my love letters in the drawer where they had an access. Of course my mother found out after few days of keeping them in that drawer. She told my father who was currently on vacation at that time. My father started the conversation “one month na pala kayo ha?” I was scared of what he would say next… But it turned out like I was on a hot seat. They started teasing me about him. There was no preaching. It was kind of an open dialogue with my parents – for the first time about my love life.
I then thought of inviting him over to our house to meet my parents. He did. He was nervous. But that nervousness vanished when they welcomed him with their smiles. And at the same time advised “us” that they have nothing against our young relationship for as long as “we behave well”. That he can come home any day he wants.
That’s how I started building my open-relationship with my parents. They were lenient and considerate enough that I didn’t think of doing anything that would disappoint them.
I would always update them on what’s the latest with my relationship and yes that includes my first kiss, my first heartache etc… It was my mom who had witnessed and followed every chapter of my love life. Of course, I’m sure she had told my father about everything – that’s no doubt!
In every failed relationship that I had, my mom was always there to listen and comfort me with her words of advice. She has seen me cried over heartaches. A lot of times. Then she would finally let her instinct out towards the guy who broke my heart “I knew it would happen, I could make out, but I didn’t want to interfere”. And I think she uttered the same line every after break-up that I had. :p
I remember an incident when my ex-bf had an affair with my friend. I was already back home while they were still in Manila studying. That was the same time when I had to stop schooling. Upon knowing the real score, my mom saw me seating in one corner, and asked me “ano luluwas ka?” I wasn’t thinking of that at that moment. But she gave me an idea. I packed all the things that he gave me and found myself off to the bus terminal the next morning. Before I left the house, my mother asked me once again ” you sure you didn’t forget anything?” Hahahaha! That made me confident. I knew I was ready to confront them.
As of this day, I still keep an open-relationship with my parents. I tell them what are needed to be told. And seek for their fair advice when I know there’s no one else to turn to.
And I’m thinking of implementing the same to my daughter when that time comes.