Still celebrating the merry month for mothers! This week I did a mini interview with fellow blogging mom May Castro. Her answers are relevant of the general question: How different are your views about love and life now that you’re a mom?
Mitch: Physical changes first… so did your life really change after you had children?
May: Did it! I was still reveling the newfound feeling of actually being a Missus, then I got pregnant and then Isaac came and soon after that, Sophia. What was once my calm and collected life is now strewn with food messes, choo choo trains, baby barrettes, cartoons, tantrums and the occasional midnight tummy ache. But the once-life of Mr&Mrs has now doubled in laughter and filled with more kisses. The trade-off rewards are sweet.
Mitch: How different are your views now on love and life?
May: Pregnancy stage alone, you already know you can be truly in love with someone you haven’t met yet… even if you’ve had misgivings about love in the past. In the days when I was a new mom, the whole careful but carefree me is taken over by a newer, maybe more improved version of me. Just when I thought I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, I actually became more motherly, more protective, more caring, more patient. All women have these traits instilled, it’s instinct. I guess they just strengthened for me when I became a mom. Before the kids, you just have to think of your wellbeing, now you think of theirs first. I’ve changed priorities and evaluated relationships and even the way I think after the kids were born, yet still struggling to keep a piece of the “me before children” afloat.
Mitch: Seems like a challenging balance routine.
May: Oh it is. I don’t want to lose myself just because I have kids, but I also know that a lot of what I want has to take a backseat. Like I said, the momlife means changing priorities, like me wanting a new pair of shoes will have to wait because the school stuff has to come first. Or that I can now only admire designer bags but not covet owning one because I’d rather buy a good, sturdy and affordable one that will hold a milk bottle, snack packs, kid wipes and diapers alongside my teeny tiny kikay kit. I can live with that and not lose myself. But in order to keep my sanity, I also dedicate some time for just me or for me and the hubs. I get regular mani-pedis, like I still use to do before kids (only I often go for the cheaper but still good manicurist as opposed to the fancy salons I used to patronize), and the hubby and I still go on dates (although not as often as before… and we cut off fancy dining too.) That’s balancing life at its finest.
Mitch: Any scenarios that have you inwardly saying, “My love and life views have really changed!”?
May: One thing obvious, you let go of your inhibitions when you’re a mom. I never dreamed I’d be breastfeeding in public, even if I was armed with fancy and cute nursing covers. I always thought I’d feel so naked. But I found out that I would not hesitate to whip out a boobie when the baby demanded for it. Nor did I think the shy me would be belting my guts out on stage at the school’s Family Day. But for my kids, I’d through fire if I had to. I wouldn’t easily be caught doing silly stuff in public either, but with my kids around, it’s hard not be loud and goofy, to the point of all of us doing our silly dance together even if we are around other people we don’t know. And I have definitely learned that I can love my children for their individuality and uniqueness and yet not love one any more or any less.
Mitch: Last thoughts?
May: My views on love and life are not really any different from when I was not yet a mom, but they have shifted big time to just me/ me and my husband, to the kids. It is for them (the family) that I live now, what makes me get up every day and my inspiration to keep on being a good person. I mentioned that the rewards are sweet? They definitely are. Here I am with front row seats in watching my little people grow into the amazing individuals God meant them to be. I am so lucky.
May Castro has been blogging since 2005. She serves up a variety of thoughts (and cute craft tutorials) at Nshima Servings .