Having Another Baby

So what if I’m already in my 30s??! Families and friends were telling me that we should have another one. You’re already 31. So what? By the time your children get out of college you’ll be old. So what? Besides the decision about when to have another child needs to take place. Not only that… There are so many things that we have to consider.

Medically
I still feel the need to recover from my first pregnancy. It wasn’t easy when you’re working.

Financially
A growing family has to have sufficient funds to be able to provide each one’s needs. At the moment, we are not ready for this.

Emotionally
This is my primary concern. I know how it is. I was the only child – for almost 10 years. My mom gave birth to my brother when I was already 9 years and 5 months to be exact. I was excited of course. But changes somehow affected me. I was not alone anymore. The family as a whole was delighted as a result of this new addition. I felt a little jealous every time my dad would ask for my brother first, who was miles away at that time.

We are talking about a 9 year old girl here. What about an 18 month old little girl? How would she react if she sees her mother carrying , feeding and comforting another child?

We still stand firm with our decision – we’re not having another baby till everyone is ready.

But if it’s God’s will, we will accept and take the challenge of having another one – whole heartedly.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Blogger since 2007 | Home-based Marketing Assistant | WAHM | Ex-OFW | Music enthusiast | Cactus and Succulent Hobbyist | A 41 y/o mom of two lovely girls sharing her adventures as she walks through motherhood and having to do most things on her own while her Indian national husband works miles away from home.

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19 Comments

  1. every first time mom would come across this question at one point of their mommy life I asked myself the same question few months ago.

    imho, siblings with lesser age gap get along better than the ones with big age gaps. they play together, they grow up together, they would have the same interests, and so on and so forth. but well, there’s no rule and it really depends on the experience and upbringing of each one of us.. now don’t ask me again the same question, i havent found the right answer hehe..

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  2. We’ll both have the answers when we’re ready.

    Re : your entry, Life abroad is far different from backhome. There, we have relatives to take care of our children in our absence.

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  3. per your prior post, i thought you were pregnant…no pala! πŸ™‚ but i totally agree on this post…we got pregnant with our second when our eldest was turning 4. a lot of people were telling us it was time, but we weren’t quite ready, but ready na rin—ya know how it is? well, i got pregnant and now we have to wonderful boys. i think the gap is great because kuya helps his little brother learn things, and his little brother truly adores kuya. so far, it’s been great.

    and for the record, 31 isn’t late! hmp. (had the second when i was 33!)

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  4. I read a blog entry once about a mom who imagined what it would feel like if a woman she had never seen before came into the house and started breastfeeding her daughter, playing with her, etc. and her daughter started calling her Mommy too. She was pregnant kasi, and was trying to guess what her daughter would feel like when the new baby arrives and does everything she used to do with her mommy. Ang galing ng pagkasulat,but I can’t remember where I read it πŸ˜€

    Seriously every child will go through phases of becoming jealous with the arrival of a new baby, whatever their age gap is. A teenager might try to act cool pero siguradong inggit pa din yan πŸ˜€

    I don’t think Deye will be seriously affected. Ang tanong, are the parents ready to handle both an infant and a demanding older child? We certainly aren’t. Lugi ang buong pamilya kung laging pagod at mataray ang nanay at tatay, so like you we’ve decided to wait too. But of course if a baby comes unexpectedly, we will make adjustments πŸ™‚

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  5. @ Jencc : Yun nga, at least pag malayo ang age gap, pwede ka na magdepend sa eldest kahit paano.

    Korek! Di pa late yung 31. When people ask me ilang taon na ako I say with pride -31teen hahaha!

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  6. @ Christianne : I know myself… I’m not ready yet for another baby.

    Kaya nga, ako nga na 9 yrs old na nun nagseselos pa din hehehe!

    Alalahanin mo para mabasa ko ah! πŸ˜‰

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  7. mitch, kala ko preggy ka, haha! alam mo we really wanted two kids lang talaga. kasi we are saying, we wanted to enjoy the kids while they are still kids and since, we are also not young anymore, ehem. when i was preggy with IC, MC is always present in everything — buying clothes, baby things, even the choosing of the name, she gets to say good night/good morning/good evening to her sister while am preggy, — tapos nung i gave birth, she went with her papa to buy her sister a gift; plus, we also bought her a gift which we said was from her baby sister. age difference nila is 1.5 years-

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  8. @ Raqgold : Hahaha! Sinadya kong magkasunod ang “banana and milk” saka “having another baby” para magulat kayo hahahaha! Not so soon my dear…

    Siguro, nasa paghahanda na din sa panganay na anytime soon magkakababy sister sya.

    You prepared her well then…

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  9. Mitch!! Kala ko preggy ka nanaman. I was 34 when I had Gaby and 36 when I had Adi. I think shouldn’t be a factor, unless of course you’re a lot older na. I think it’s readiness of the mind and the heart that really matters πŸ™‚

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  10. People asked me the same question before I decided to have a second baby. I feel that once you’re ready (emotionally and physically) to accept another child into your life, then deciding to have another child wouldn’t be quite difficult.

    I waited seven years before I decided that I’m ready to become a mother again to another child.

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  11. i was 8 yrs old when my brother came along…so i def. enjoyed being the only kid for those years! lol…

    right now, my bebe is soon to be 18 mos old, but i’ve always wanted my kids to be close in age unlike my brothers and i (i’m 31, the next is 23, and the last is 16!). so that’s my only driving factor… but yes, we still have a lot of time to decide!

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  12. wow. nice post, sis.

    reading your entry, i conclude it is you who is not yet ready or maybe D (financially) but for deye, this is the best time for her. sa 9 years old, obvious na ang difference sa attention but for her age — 3 year olds to 4 would be great ates. And it is according to how you will gonna set deyes’ mind that a baby brother or sis is coming and surely she will love it. I didn’t experience sibling rivalry with my sis (the one next to me) bt we felt it with our brother kc lalaki din sya kaya naging favorite sya.

    I don’t think 31 is old. You can still do so by 40 or even 45 normally bt if complications come in pwede na rin ang CS. diba?

    And note — igot a friend who is in KSA. they got 3 kids. naiwan ang isa sa pinas but the 2 are in there. they are in school when both (husband and wife) are working. I think, you may consider this kind of timing and alaga system.

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  13. Naku naman, 31 is still young, Mitch. Araw ko, paano na kaya kung time ko na? Hehehe… I plan to have babies when I reach my 30s pa kasi. Wala pa ngang hubby hehe

    Ok lang yan. My mom gave birth to our youngest when she was already 38. And it’s normal pa nga.

    Basta ba God gave you one, ok yan πŸ™‚

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  14. @ Cookie : Malayong mangyari na buntis ulit ako hehehe!

    Hey, para ka lang nasa early 30s ngayon ha? Walang bola…

    @ Mommy Chi : Ewan ko ba sa ibang tao, minamadali nila ako hehehe!

    @ Arlene : Di pa daw ready si Deye sabi nya sa akin hahaha! Joke!

    @ Kat : Halos pareho pala tayo ng age gap with our brothers.

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  15. 31 is not old, I had my youngest when I was 34. But it will be different, each pregnancy is. 2-3 years age gap is I think the best. Be careful with expecting an older child to help when a new baby comes along, yes they will help, but if they’re still kids, they have to be treated as such. My children are 6, 3 and 9 months. The oldest helps when asked to get the diaper, etc. But one bedtime, I noticed her longing to sleep by my side and make lambing but she can’t because her two younger siblings who sleep beside me. So what I do now is, I schedule who I sleep beside with.

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  16. Wow, talaga? Humaba na naman ang hair ko dun… πŸ™‚

    Olay Total Effects lang yan…like Gretchen B..hehehe πŸ™‚

    Teynks sa compliment, sis!

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  17. @ Sasha : Malapit ko na ngang maumbag ang nagsasabing 31 is old.

    @ Cookie : Joke lang! Hihihihi! Joke ulit! :p

    @ Ami : Katuwa naman, may sched pa.

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  18. hi mitch, congrats! i’m in my 30’s too and still hoping for baby#2. we waited for our li’l girl for 5 years before we had her…
    every baby is a blessing, no matter what age.

    have a safe pregnancy! πŸ˜‰

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