Marrying A Different National

I’ve been wanting to write this but never had the time to do it. Or should I say the courage to do it, coz I don’t know how “judging” people would react like how others do.I am married to an Indian. For people who do not really know, they would just tag them as “bumbay“, the well-known “tindero ng kulambo (mosquito net vendor)” or “5-6”. Just for other’s info, not all Indians are from Punjab (a place where bumbays are from). It’s basically like a Bisaya (Cebuana) from Cebu, if compared to Philippines.Anyway, back to the topic….

It’s never easy being with a different national particularly an Indian, I guess. I got interrogated by so many people like:

Q-#1. Wala bang amoy? I’d answer directly, “kung may amoy di siguro ako tatagal, or sometimes I just answer in a sarcastic way “di ba sa Pinoy/Americans din merong may mga amoy?”.

Q-#2. Kaya mong kumain ng Curry? O bakit nakakalason ba yun? Or I’d say in fact marunong na nga akong magluto nun.

Q-#3. Eh di mag-iiba ka na din ng religion? Lucky me, he is a Catholic. A Roman Catholic. And so what if he’s not. Masama bang maglagay ng isang corner for Lakshmi and another corner for Jesus Christ?

Q-#4. If you end up together, where will you settle in? Pnas or India? Wherever he may be, I’m ready. That’s how it is. A wife should be with her husband, wherever it is, but of course I made some conditions hehehe! Okay! That’s another story!

Q-#5. What about your kids? Which school would you send them to? Huh? Huwaaaaaaat? Why do you wanna know? Are you going to pay for their tuition fees? Grrrr!

That’s just 5 of those questions I had encountered. Honestly, do they matter? I mean the differences? For as long as you know you are happy with the person you love, I don’t think they matter.

We were together for 5 years before we decided to get married, not because of the differences, not because how people reacted on our relationship, not because we had problems in between. But just because we wanted to make sure that we are for each other.

We are now married for almost 3 years. Total of 8 years already. We are happy. He eats sinigang. I eat curry. He watches TFC. I watch Star Plus. He speaks Hindi. I speak Tagalog. At the end of the day, we both understand and speak English. So, what’s the big deal??!

The same goes to our daughter. There is no restriction on being an Indian and Filipino. She is both. She eats curry and sinigang. We talk to her in both our own dialects. In the long run, she has to learn anyway. She needs it when she goes “home”.

All in all? It’s not really hard… It’s just a matter of compromise. But I must admit, there are times na nakakapikon and nakakapagod mag-reason out even if you don’t have to.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Blogger since 2007 | Home-based Marketing Assistant | WAHM | Ex-OFW | Music enthusiast | Cactus and Succulent Hobbyist | A 41 y/o mom of two lovely girls sharing her adventures as she walks through motherhood and having to do most things on her own while her Indian national husband works miles away from home.

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12 Comments

  1. Bastos talaga ang Q#1, hehe. But I think people ask the other questions because they are genuinely curious, and underneath the tsismisosa surface they probably admire you. It’s not easy to live with people who were raised in another country and culture. Cheers to you and your hubby.

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  2. Eventually, I got used to it. Sometimes sinasagot ko na din ng pabiro, like he uses Axe for Men hahaha!

    But as I’ve said sometimes I become defensive lalo na if the questions are coming from those people close to you, na para bang can’t you be just happy for me or something like matutuwa pa ako if you just shut up hehehe!

    Oh well! Of course we get defensive kapag loved ones na ang involved.

    Thanks Christianne!

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  3. yan din problema namin ng sister ko. she married an american/hispanic guy and ako naman filipino/chinese naman hubby ko. i mean, daming questions about our differences pero in the end, yung couple naman mismo ang nakakapag compensate ng pagkakaiba nila.

    kudos to you and your hubby for still being together.

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  4. hi there, i needed to butt in 🙂 eto pa ang isang hirit when you are married to an non-pinoy ‘ano yan, penpal?’ heheh — let’s hold our chins up, sistah!

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  5. Hmm, depende siguro sa situation or sa tono ng boses, but they might just be curious and aren’t trying to get tsismis or putting your relationship down. Nakakainis lang nga kung lahat ng tao paulit-ulit ang tanong. Ganito siguro ang feeling ng artista, kapag pare-pareho ang tinatanong ng mga nagi-interview sa kanila no? 😛

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  6. you know when hubby and i started dating, i feel conscious of peoples eyes on us [he’s filipino and i am chinese] wherever we go… but then, i learn not to see “the stare” that i would receive especially from the senior chinese people.

    i think they ask these questions simply out of curiosity or out of ignorance. just disregard them. don’t ever let it bother you.

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  7. @ Christianne : Yun nga sana kung tono ng curiosity, kaso tono ng nang-uuri. Kaya nga nagquit ako sa showbiz, joke hahaha!

    @ Jo : Dumating na din ako sa point na deadma na lang sila. At nung kasal namin sila ang una kong ininvite hehehe! Kasi sabi nila pangdito lang daw ang relasyon, di daw magkakatuluyan.

    @ Raqgold : Hahaha! Oo nga, may mga ganung tanong din.

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  8. kaya pala super gwapo si hubby! 😀 i find indian beauty, charming.

    my in-laws are aussie but they’re fond of curry.. so i guess wala sa lahi. hehehe! and i like it at times!

    baka yong iba nagtatanong kasi they want to marry an indian also! 🙂

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  9. Hi Mitch,
    Hay naku, talagang minsan may mga taong di mo maintihan what gave them the right to ask such questions. Nakakapikon talaga minsan ang mga ganyang tanong. My sister who’s married to an American gets pointed questions too na para bang minsan gusto mong sagutin na : “baket? why do you care?”

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