In Your Eyes

I thought of this song when I heard about Kris Aquino’s Songs of Love & Healing.

“In your eyes, I can see my dream’s reflections
In your eyes, found the answers to my questions
In your eyes, I can see the reasons why our love’s alive
In your eyes, we’re drifting safely back to shore
And I think I’ve finally learned to love you more…”

I am just so touched by this song… I wish to get a copy of this CD….

Image source : Kabayan Central

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A Compliment

As I was walking towards the parking lot, our F & B Director approached me. “Mitch, tell me your secret?” I said “Huh? Secret?” He smiled and said, “most of the mothers who have just given birth are fat, but you, after getting married and having a baby, you are so blooming.” I smiled back at him and said “I have to make sure that my husband doesn’t go anywhere/anyone”. Hahaha! He laughed and said “better stay that way”.

Anyway, left photo was a take a year before I got married. I was skinny, I would say… Sabi nila, mahipan lang ako ng hangin, tumba na hahaha! I guess, it’s the hair also. I had this boycut kasi dati.

And right photo was just taken last month. Medyo nagkalaman na kasi ako, that’s the difference at mukha na akong babaeng tunay bcoz I have grown my hair. Some would say, madami na daw lumaki sa akin hahaha! I just take them as compliments. I really don’t mind. It’s all in the mind and in the bad eyes hehehe! As long as my husband loves me and my fats (I know some would say I’m exaggerating at sasabihin na naman na di naman ako mataba), I don’t care at all. Pero minsan nakakapag-isip din ako na mahirap din palang mag-gain ng weight. Dati when I shop for my clothes, I don’t even have to go to the fitting room to check. I’ll just have to request for the smallest size, and that’s it, I’m done! Pero ngayon huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Kelangan ng mag-size M or fall in the queue and try the clothes on.

But as I have said, it doesn’t matter at all. It’s all in the mind. If you think you are sexy, you are sexy. Wala na silang magagawa dun hahaha!

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My Younger Years

I was born in 1976. Eldest of two. I only have one brother who is now 21 years old. Yes, we have almost 10 years gap. I could vividly remember how eager my parents were to have a second child. Oh well, that’s another story!

So you see, being the only child for almost 10 years, and having a father working abroad (KSA), do you imagine the “luho/s” I was getting? But I have to work for that. If I wanted something, I have to save from my school pocket money. Otherwise, I won’t get it easily, unless I excel in school. I’ve always did! The thought of getting a reward (as a child) is really challenging.

My father comes for a month vacation every after 6 months. I remember having Sanrio and Barbie stuff. I had like 3 game and watch. I had view master. I had atari (it was an older-similar version of a PS.) I had almost all the things a kid could wish for.

We would always celebrate my birthdays at the beach. I even had a big celebration for my 18th birthday. But I could say my parents were not spoilers. They just give anything that would make me happy.

I also had these punishment days where I used to sit in the corners of the house. Or facing the walls. But this one is really stuck on my mind….

I was 7 at that time. My father was home for his vacation. As a child, I had this problem attitude when it comes to food. I only like to eat junkfood. Knowing my father… he’s very particular with it. Mommy packed my “Snoopy” lunchbox. There was a hamburger, orange juice and a Chippy. I came home from school with the same lunchbox but without the Chippy, just the Chippy. Unfortunately, it was my dad who checked my lunchbox. Pffffft! As expected, I was punished. No food for the whole afternoon. I was locked from the outside bedroom door. All alone… crying for hunger. And there was my mom to the rescue at 6pm. I heard steps coming to the bedroom, slowly unlocking the door. She was holding a plate of noodles and a glass of juice with her and said “bilisan mo at baka mahuli tayo ng daddy mo, pareho tayong lagot”. When I remember that line and situation, I couldn’t help but to smile.

My dad isn’t bad. But dad’s rules are dad’s rules. Unlike my mom who sometimes does this “pagtatakip” especially for my brother. My dad had never beaten us, as I remember. He is more of this “usap ng masinsinan”. And when he does, it’ll just put you to tears.

Hmmmm…. I just love to reminisce my childhood memories.

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Life Isn’t Bad At All

Year 1999. When we first met. Two different races, two different places, two different cultures yet bound as one. Getting-To-Know stage was the fun-filled moments; we hang-out and talked about different things that we see from our places and people that we encounter. Despite the fact that we both like each other, things didn’t go well as how we want ’em to be. People warned us that this relationship would never work, as they believe, relationships should be based on similarities and beliefs. Criticisms, discouragements and trials were the three main things that helped us gone through all the ups and downs that we had. No matter how painful it was, we stood by one another. It was in year 2001 when we thought everything was over. Someone came along in the middle. He went on his own. I went on my own. Things fell apart. Though it was hard to go on, we tried as much as we could. And just like how we first met, that’s how we met again, promised that this time, no one can ever come between us. As they always say, you can never have the most possible thing that you always wished for without going through the hardest part. ‘Glad we did!

Year 2004. We got married. Thought it would be as easy as what we thought. Again, questions were asked by people who do not know what we really feel and had planned for ourselves : Are you sure about each other? Do you think your marriage will survive with your differences? Where will you settle in? What about your future children, which school will you send them to? There may not be certain answers to these questions, but there is one word that assures everything : WE – we understand each other, we know who we are, we respect our own decisions, we compromise, and most of all we love each other sincerely. Now, that we are together, more trials have come our ways. Back to zero. But as I always tell him, no one can ever come between us, as long as we are together.
27 February 2005. I wrote this story. I was so down yet I kept on hoping and praying. He lost his job and had to go backhome.

28 February 2005. In less than 24 hours, my prayers were answered. He kept us together and gave us what we asked for.

26 April 2005. He’s back. T’was the day when I conceived. Heehee!
23 May 2005. It was nearly an hour since we got home, I couldn’t wait… I opened the kit, went in the bathroom, followed the instruction, sat on the toilet bowl impatiently with my legs up on it. Till I see the first line coming. Oh my God! I am pregnant. I jumped off where I was sitting and started screaming, I am pregnant! I am pregnant! I am pregnant! Your Dada was surprised to hear what I was screaming for and started kissing me all around my face. He immediately scanned the result and saved it in our personal computer. Then he whispered, thanks mahal!
23 January 2006. The greatest-priceless gift of all was given to us…. I gave birth to a baby girl. We were so proud. Every time I think of those MOMents, I could still feel the joy that she had brought to our lives. Until this moment…. this very moment… 27 May 2007. And now I could tell myself life isn’t bad at all.
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Every time I think of how much I had gone through in life, I still hardly believe that I have become a stronger woman. And working abroad had played a big part of it. It wasn’t a choice. It was a decision that I had to make for the sake of our family. The early responsibilities… when my father lost his job, I had to take over. I learned to stand on my own at the age of 20. Made decisions and looked after everything that came along the way. I’d always thought of giving up and look after myself, just me alone. But that won’t make any difference; I may be off from worries but definitely away from love. Unconditional love that no one else could ever give but my family. A part of it that I always consider are the people around who always try to pull me down that sometimes trigger me to fight back. But then, on the positive side of it, somehow, they help me prove myself how strong and fighter I am.

Now, as I begin and build my own family, I carry these thoughts with me. I won’t give up, I’ll fight for what is right, I’ll get what I deserve, I’ll give whatever is needed, I’ll live a life according to my will with no hesitations, alone with my loved ones… family and friends.
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