Someone I know quoted and posted ” Bakit ang hirap maging masaya?” Why is it hard to be happy? For someone so young who just started a family, it’s a heavy statement. I had to message her and make her feel better. I’ve learned through the years, and now believe that happiness is a choice so choose to be happy!

Most of us do not understand happiness maybe because we were taught that it is something that’s supposed to make us feel good – all the time. It’s not always the case, you know. Sometimes, we feel happier by just being happy for someone else despite the pain that it gets to us. Dapat masaya ka pa din kahit masakit na.

One good literal example was when I gave birth to my youngest. I had to go through so much pain from conception to delivery. It didn’t feel good at all but yeah I was at my happiest at that time, simply because I chose to be happy despite the discomfort I felt during those two full days.

Another good example was when my father passed away. I felt I was alone, that no one cared if I was too exhausted already. But I also thought that maybe it was too hard for them to take it, and maybe I was stronger than them that I can carry the situation despite the pain. After so much contemplation, I chose to be happy, and stay composed because that was the right thing to do – for my mourning loved ones. I was grieving, too, but it won’t help to just sit in the corner and feel bad. Besides, my dad won’t like that.

I asked her “You okay?” just to get the conversation going, and she responded, “I’m trying”. You see, if you find yourself getting confused about trying to be happy and choosing happiness, definitely you will find it difficult to be happy. As I’ve said, I’ve learned through the years. Below were some of the possible reasons why I also get afraid at times, which leads to being unhappy:

Fear of being alone. It is all but normal to fear to be alone. Who wouldn’t?? But please always remember that your happiness does not depend on others. It should not. If you find yourself feeling the need to be around people all the time to get that precious smile, then think about it. Do not be afraid to identify what will make yourself happy. Keep the guilt aside. It is not being selfish. We all need to be happy at our own pace.

You allow your happiness to depend on others. It is nearly a similar instance of the above. Satisfaction and happiness ought to exclusively rely upon one individual, and that is yourself. Try not to depend on other’s endorsement with the goal for you to feel upbeat. You pick your joy. Try not to enable others to do it for you. It won’t last long.

You always compare your life with others. Have your own source of happiness. It won’t work when you try to level yourself with others along with your happiness when you can only afford and achieve so much. It won’t be YOU anymore. It also doesn’t mean that the greener side is always the better side.

You do not love what you do. When you contribute your chance at something, ensure that you cherish what you do, not on the grounds that others are doing it. In the event that that is the situation, at that point perhaps the time has come to think about different alternatives.

You spend time with negative thinkers. Sometimes it’s true that what you see and hear is what you will feel. As much as possible, hang around with people who will bring all the positivity in life. On the off chance that you feel that the majority of your companions cut you down, at that point it’s your entitlement to investigate to something that will lead you to another friend network. Or on the other hand essentially maintain a strategic distance from them and don’t stay nearby with them until the point when you are accustomed to carrying on with an existence without them.

I can continue forever with the reasons, however, the base line is that you must trust and put stock in yourself, that you can deal with anything that may come your direction. That nobody else ought to pick bliss for you, you do. Just YOU. ONLY YOU. Choose to be happy!


Mitch Carvalho

A full-time home-based Marketing Manager by day, 24/7 Mom, and a Blogger at any time. I’m 43 and proud. Mom of Derelle & Erchelle, sharing my adventures as I walk through motherhood and having to do most things on my own while my Indian national husband works miles away from home.