I broke the news to our immediate family members including Ate Deye as soon as I learned I was expecting. But I had to think of the way how my eldest will understand without confusing her. Since she understands well what an “ate” means I first told her that she’s going to be an ate soon coz Mama has a baby inside her tummy. From then on, the thought stayed in her mind.
But honestly, there were times when it was really difficult to handle, the situation, particularly. Though she has expressed excitement, I have felt the rivalry she has inside her whenever I talk about the baby. Unknowingly, I didn’t know I was causing the jealousy she had first felt for the baby.
I remember an incident when I first felt my baby’s hard kick, Ate Deye was lying down facing me, and I was lying on my back, relaxing. I said “awwww!” loudly then she asked “Why?” I said “Baby kicked” As soon as she heard those words, she literally kicked my left side and said “Um!” It really did hurt me. I was shocked and asked her “Why did you do that?” She explained, almost crying “Bad sya! Kick ka nya!”
I told my husband about it and hubby suggested not to use the “kick” word again, instead use “the baby is moving”.
After sometime, she was okay with it. The thoughts still in her mind that she’s going to be a big sister soon makes it easier for me. From the day I broke the news, I made sure that she’s always a part of any preparations we have been doing for the new baby like:
- I would always take her with me on each prenatal appointment especially when an ultrasound is scheduled.
- I would ask her questions like “will she help Mama give Erchelle a bath and share her shampoo with her?”
- I consider her opinion whenever I buy dresses and stuff for the baby “which color you like for the baby?” However, at times, she’d throw tantrums and would demand for something too. Well, that is pretty normal so no worries.
- And the most recent activity we had (and I liked the most) was when I let her helped me fold all the baby’s clothes. It didn’t matter me if the clothes weren’t folded properly but the excitement it gave her made it so special. And I’m giving the credits to my husband coz it was his idea. He says “so she’d know her responsibilities as an “ate” to Erchelle.
I know there’d be more to come and I am already anticipating those. I hope I’m doing the right thing and on the right path. *fingers crossed*
Note to experienced mommies: Care to share tips and some advice? Now off to make an online research on orlando vacations.