On Forgiving

I was browsing on Deedee’s Diary, and suddenly thought of something because of her “Forgive and Forget“.

More than a decade ago, I had an issue with one of my girlfriends. She was one of the bests. We came from one school and place. Became more closer when we reached High School. We never had problems. We enrolled in one university. We stayed in one boarding house. Until… “Someone” came between us. I believed I wasn’t at fault. At first, I blamed her. I blamed it all to her. When she knows “we” are still together, why intrude on someone’s property? Are you getting the picture? But as they say, it takes two tango. Why blame her? Blame them! And blame me for keeping bad thoughts about them for a while….

Anyway, I don’t want to brag on the story…. Some of our “barkadas” would tell me that time, “forget that, at least nalaman mo ng maaga pa”. It’s not that. It’s not that I was mourning for “him”. I was… I did…. For the friendship that we built years and years ago. But I would say I’m one of the few people who does not use “Pasko” and “Holy Week” to forgive. I will, when I’m ready.

In fact, I already did. I tried to reach out, but she remained aloof. I tried my best, but I failed. I had forgiven her. But I won’t be hypocrite and say that “I had forgotten what happened”. It’ll remain in my heart forever, for it made me realized how “less” my life had become without her. We would’ve been happier now sharing our mommy moments.

I wish that one day, she’ll land on my blog reading this. I’m sure, she will. We still have connections. And thru them, I am keeping my high hopes, that one day we will “reunite” as how we had dreamed of back then… that we would have our houses built in one place so that our kids could grow together…