Impluwensya! Impluwensya! Fellow bloggers really inspire me to write on something each day like how Noemi of Touched By An Angel’s entry How Do You Know You’re A Couple? Her last lines made me blog about this….

On Courtship : Do you prefer the old-fashioned way ? Or it’s really a thing of the past?

If you are a Filipina from a conservative family, certainly, you would say “yes, I’d prefer the old-fashioned way”. I am a Filipina, but not from a so-conservative-family who would still prefer an old-fashioned way. But……

But…. long courtship? No. Definitely not for me. Although sometimes it matters. It helps. Let’s put it this way… During the courtship, most of the guys (for sure) would never ever “disclose” their bad sides. You’re lucky if they do. At least you won’t have the fear and question of “what if he changes?” sort of thing.

Back then, I used to count the days and give it a time before I officially let the guy call me “his girlfriend”. Unfortunately, nothing lasted for more than 2 years (that was the longest). One courted me for almost a year and we ended our relationship after two months. The guy I’d been with for more than 2 years had shown his true colors just in the beginning of our “official” relationship. He’s always up to his excuses later on. Blah blah blah! Martyr ko ba? It even lasted for 2 years hahaha! Anyway, my husband didn’t have to go through that long process…..

We met in October 1999. “Signs of madness about me” (Bwahahaha! Conceited!) were shown in November 1999. It was already approaching December 1999 when he finally appointed his “tulay” to ask me out. Very Filipino way ba? I was set-up. He had actually surveyed about me. My fave. My kind of stuff etc… His “tulay” approached me one day “Day, mag-live band tayo”. I said “Talaga Kuya? Kelan?” Tulay said “Sa Linggo. Magsama ka ng mga “babae” sa accommodation niyo”. I did. Maybe four of them called it’s a date. It was all planned. Sunday came. One by one, they called me giving their excuses “di ako makakasama” blah blah blah. Until…. He called me in the office and said “I hope you could come for the evening”. I was like “what are you talking about?” He said “Tulay didn’t tell you?” I replied “He said we were going out to see a live band, but I didn’t know you were also coming with us” hehehe! Ayun! Na-set-up ako! Tulay said if no one is coming, he won’t be coming. I insisted, if no one is joining us, no way! Ayun na, umandar na ang pagkadalagang Pilipina kuno hahaha! That night, “tulay” became a “chaperone” for hours. We went to see a movie first and “tulay” seated in the middle, I made him sit there actually hehehe!

In short, my husband courted me “our ways”, the Filipino ways. But long courtship was an exemption.

December 11, 1999. That’s our official anniversary. We lasted for 5 years before we decided to get married in 2004. So, basically the courtship just took “two weeks” to be exact. And here we are, almost on our 8th year all together.

By the way, since “tulay” played a big role in our lovestory, we made him our “ninong” as promised… I promised him that if we ended up with each other, he’ll be our “ninong”.


Image source here. This image illustrates how “harana” is done when courting a girl in the Philippines. Harana” (or serenade) is one of the positive Filipino tradition and culture which was being practiced by the people from Infanta, Quezon and nearby municipalities in the early days. During those days, it is the appropriate means for a young bachelor to meet formally a young lady. The young man shall organize a small “harana” ensemble – size ranging from two (duet), three (trio) or five-man team, with one guitarist. With the silence of the night as their background, the team will serenade the young lady with amorous “kundimans” or Tagalog love songs. After two to three songs, the young lady will invite the group into their house for some conversation. During the conversation proper, songs shall also be exchanged between the young man and the young lady.

Mitch Carvalho

A full-time home-based Marketing Manager by day, 24/7 Mom, and a Blogger at any time. I’m 43 and proud. Mom of Derelle & Erchelle, sharing my adventures as I walk through motherhood and having to do most things on my own while my Indian national husband works miles away from home.